* There’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
* You buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
* There’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
* You’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
* You tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you.
* Someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
* A friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!” and then tells you to try some.
* You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just looking around.
* You rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
* A waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
* Your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
* There’s a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
* The power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
* Someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
* The elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
* You almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.
* Using leaf blowers or lawn equipment early in the morning. Eek!! I do hate this!
* People who come barging through the door you just opened for your own passage as if you are some sort of doorman or something. Along those same lines: People for whom you DO intentionally open or hold a door who then just breeze through without any acknowledgement.
* Cashiers who neither acknowledge you nor thank you.
* Listening to a song on the radio waiting patiently until the end for the DJ to tell you who it was by and he DOESN’T.
* You’re sitting in your car with your car’s hood up, trying to crank your car and someone asks, “Car won’t start?”
* People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
* The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle. (This actually happened to me and made my ankle bleed! Not even so much as an apology.)
* It’s bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don’t realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
* People in a long line at a drive-thru who don’t pull up all the way. Hello! There are people behind you with their tail-ends sticking out into the street just WAITING to be rear-ended. Do you think you could bother to look in your rear-view mirror and realize there are others waiting too!
* You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
* You can’t look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don’t know how to spell it.
* When people say, “It’s always in the last place you look.” Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
* When people say, while watching a movie, “Did you see that?” No asshole, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at that thing over there. What did you come here for?
* People who ask, “Can I ask you a question?” Didn’t really give me a choice, did ya buddy?
* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
* When there are two adults living in a household, but only one (the female) is smart enough to change the roll of toilet paper when it is empty! It’s NOT rocket science, ya know!
* When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you pulled me over.
* When something is “new and improved”, which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
